The Love Dog News

Issue #11 10/17/2011


The Connection Issue

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A Psalm of Connection

You are living all around us
In every flower plant tree and weed
In this lovely English garden
In the middle of this sweet desert home...

You are living deep within me
In the sleepless night and at my side
In the endless tossing and turning
And when I awaken into a day full of ease and service...

You are in the checkbook
The freshly scrubbed satillo tile in the kitchen
The new and most confusing Smart Phone
The slightly messy storage shed
The empty hummingbird feeders
And in the trash...

You are in every nook and cranny
Of my inner and outer world

You are all that is and all that matters

You are my Beloved...

- by Patricia Flasch -

In this Issue of The Love Dog News:

The Love Dog News is a free quarterly newsletter for those of us who long for love, authenticity, and truth. Issues contain messages from Patricia Flasch and Leading From the Heart, inspirational thoughts and stories, and tools to use in your life. Subscribe Now

I offer this newsletter in a Spirit of Tenderness and with all my love, Patricia

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Message from Patricia

Dear Awakening Hearts,

Whether or not I feel connected inside to myself, my God as I understand God, to you, to the world, to nature, to all the things happening inside and outside myself is EVERYTHING. My entire experience is colored by that essential fact; do I feel connected?

Many years ago, I discovered that my Primary Personal Need is "not to be abandoned". The positive context for this need is "to feel connected". (See the late Thomas Leonard's survey attached to this newsletter to discover your own primary personal need.)

Being able to name the need itself has given me the power to create a world full of connectedness. It's also given me the awareness that the times in my life that have the most suffering are the times that I could not find a way to feel connected.

All my peak experiences involve a huge element of connection and all my valley experiences involve the lack of it. Once you have named your primary personal need, you may want to see if this is also true for you. Just name a time or two in your life when you were lit up from within - when you felt truly alive - that's a peak experience time. Now, name a time in your life when you felt bummed out, closed down, full of angst - that's a valley experience. Now consider how these experiences relate to your primary personal need.

I think wars are caused by unmet needs; unexpressed emotion; terror masked as rage. By discovering and then addressing our unmet needs, we are doing a service for our troubled planet. Claude Paul Thomas wrote a book entitled, "A Soldier's Journey From War to Peace" that deeply touched my heart. Thomas discusses his own acts of violence in the Vietnam war and his decision to seek forgiveness in France at the Thich Nhat Hahn monastery, Plum Village. In finding the courage to tell his story and ask the community for forgiveness, his inner world opened up. He talks about facing the fear and the guilt, the shame and the horror as the essential part of his process. Coming to terms with the unexpressed emotions; learning to tolerate them, moved him from an inner war to a place of peace. This is an ongoing practice for him and for us all.

Knowing what we feel and addressing what we need means we are taking responsibility for our lives. In so doing, we set an example for all those we touch to consider doing the same. If we can feel it, we don't have to act it out. Imagine what our world would be like if millions of us were not acting out our emotions but rather working with them and through them. I can't do anything about the whole world but I can do something about this one soul.

This is paradoxical, but also learning how to tolerate times when connection isn't possible for me is so essential to my well being. Having a need and then allowing your awareness to grow towards patience; the acceptance that our needs do not always get met in this moment, also makes for a more peaceful inner and outer world.

Another state of being that is the antithesis of connection is loneliness. I cannot begin to tell you how many times I have felt bereft, deeply lonely and longing for ??? This is puzzling because I can feel deeply lonely while my sweet husband holds me in his arms, while I am surrounded by a small community of love dogs really willing to companion me in any part of my range of emotion. Hmmm, one might ask, how could I be lonely? Well, it feels like what I am longing for is myself, My Truest Self - the one who feels connected, the wise one inside. I find myself saying, "Where is Patricia?" "I miss Patricia..." Instead, there I am sloggin' through my heartbreaking humanity, forgetting that I am always connected even when I don't know it.

So, I invite you all, sweet souls, to discover what it is you need, to find ways to meet your needs and to find ways to uncover and then express your full range of emotions - perhaps together we can find more inner peace and then take that peace out into our larger worlds.

All honor to you,

Relationship Enhancement Tip: Consider working with your partner to discover your own and their primary personal need. Once you both know what you need, your relationship can become a place where needs get met. When needs get met, it is infinitely easier to keep the aliveness going. It's not that your partner is responsible for meeting your needs. It's rather that by bringing awareness to what matters most to you and what matters most to your partner, you can treat those needs with more consideration and your hearts can connect more deeply a greater percentage of the time.

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That ole' Longing for Connection

Even all those times I was bereft about not feeling connection,
that feeling itself WAS connection.
The longing for connection IS the connection calling back.
Every abandonment,
fully embraced,
IS a connection...

- by Patricia Flasch -

Coming Attractions

Patricia has Availability
Patrica has the availability to work with 2 new clients who would like to telecommute,
Call her at 505-577-1444 if you or someone you know is interested.

Patricia as Mystical Poet
Patricia's has decided to attend Kim Rosen's seminar in Ottawa, Canada in November. This training is for professionals who would like to bring poetry more deeply into their own lives, their work and into the larger world. The training is called "The Transformative Power of Poetry". Expect to see this passion expressed more in newsletters, in sessions and on the web page.
Still coming - a way to share poetry more regularly with those of you who have that interest.

If you enjoy this newsletter, and would like to receive future issues, please go to the web site at to sign up. When you subscribe, you will receive a FREE copy of The Vehicle of Self Compassion, a chapter from Patricia's book, Becoming a Love Dog. This is a dynamic system of self-management Patricia uses and teaches.

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Bulletin Board

Tune in to a podcast of Patricia being interviewed by Joanna Harcourt-Smith, dated July 4, 2009, on Listen to this fascinating discussion of Becoming a Love Dog: From Emptiness to Tenderness. Then take some time to listen to some of the many other fascinating interviews in the Future Primitive archives.

Order Becoming a Love Dog: From Emptiness to Tenderness! This book is a map for all of us: Rumi lovers, spiritual seekers, and those simply desiring richer lives, to continue along the path of emotional maturity and spiritual integration. Patricia invites you, within the pages of this book, to become a love dog as you enter more deeply into the inner landscape of your own soul.

Order Becoming a Love Dog: From Emptiness to Tenderness from

Definition of a LOVE DOG
Rumi, the 13th century Persian Mystic, coins the term love dog in his ecstatic poetry. He says that a dog's moaning for his Master IS the connection with the Master. A love dog is someone who yearns to deepen their connection with the unseen world. This is the world of love, communion, inspiration, compassion, tenderness, truth, authenticity, emptiness and the Divine rather than the world of creating victory over another, deception, being right, or amassing fortune and power.

"Come, Come, Whoever You Are. Wonderer, worshipper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vow a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come." - Hafiz


Do you want to refer to past issues of the newsletter?  Now you can.  They are posted on the website newsletter page.

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About Patricia

Patricia has always been fascinated by the discovery of her own soul.  In her career as counselor, mentor, and coach she has spent a lifetime passing on her learning to countless students. It is Patricia's intention to be a hollow flute for Truth and Tenderness. In other words, to allow Truth and Tenderness to whisper in her ear and for her to whisper, accordingly, in the student's ear.

Patricia realizes she can work with only a limited number of people through her private practice. Therefore, her new emphasis is to touch and inspire soul seekers through this newsletter, workshops and writing.

Patricia lives in Santa Fe, New Mexico with her husband, David.

Patricia's purpose statement:  To welcome the most willing souls on earth, the love dogs, into a partnership of truth and tenderness so they can leave their caves, stand in all their glory and celebrate with their tribe.
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Patrica's newsletter design,  web site design and  maintenance, and technical editing provided by David Chittak Caldwell, Please direct technical suggestions, problems and questions to